The establishment of any relationship is unfortunately the first step towards conflict. No two people can communicate without stumbling onto a conflict subject every now and then, and in some cases, more often than is mutually desired. Conflict on its own is not troublesome. Rather, it is a natural occurrence. Communication during conflict is what we need to focus on in order to ensure that conflicts are resolved instead of exacerbated, which can negatively affect other aspects of the relationship.
A great and simple approach, one that is embraced in family and couples therapy in order to achieve effective communication in general, specifically in times of conflict, is replacing the word you with the word I. When we begin our sentences with I, it automatically creates an expression that is embedded in self-responsibility and self-assertion. Sentences beginning with you, on the other hand, are perceived as blaming and challenging.
Here’s an example of how we can use "I" language in our daily conversations with our partner or children: "I need to spend more time with you" rather than, "You’re never around." As simple as it may seem, the effect is profound. The I elicits empathy; it invites the other person to understand how we feel, what we need, and what we don’t accept as well. The blaming you, however, elicits defensiveness and anger. It invites the other person to counterattack, over-defend or completely deny what’s been stated. So, imbibe your emotional intelligence skills to be more selfless and optimistic.
Using "I" language can be equally effective, in terms of outcome, in the workplace. Communication using the assertive and precise I can mean less space for miscommunication, better teamwork as blame and anxiety are reduced, and a culture of self-responsibility and directedness. A great time to use "I" statements in the workplace is when we give feedback: "I need you to eliminate distractions in the future in order to achieve higher targets" can replace, "You’re always busy with something else. How do you expect to achieve your targets?"
Communication is a process that you should begin with the end result in mind. It is important to have a clear idea of where you want to go. Your communication skills should be quite upbeat to tackle any situations. If it is cooperation, then "I" language is the way to go. Try it safely at home and smartly in the workplace and you will definitely experience a change in how others respond to you. Personal development, emotional intelligence and communication skills are very crucial to experience a positive transformation.